Darling Sweetheart,
I was looking for your letter today, and when I got it, I pampered it, an patted it, and just all around fondled it before I opened it. I never thought that a little piece of paper, so innocently looking, so unimportant looking, could mean so much to me.
Honestly, Terry, I'm having a hard time of it, that is, by us being apart. Frankly, I've never felt so good and so bad at the same time before in my life! I do my work in anticipation of a letter from you. I know I've got to stay on the ball so that I can be here later, so that we can fulfill the dreams and plans we both must have. Plans for us and plans for ours!
Dearest, there's something bothering me. I don't know how you feel about it, but I'm somewhat mixed up. I've never wanted to be with some one so much in my life - I want to see you again - so very much - not for a day - not even for a week. I want to see you for as long as I'm still here! Don't you see what I'm driving at? I love you so very much - I know you love me - we were meant to be each others. Do you think we could stand each other forever? I have no doubts about how I feel about it; I know that you'd be the only one for me, ever!!
But, here's the point - we've got to consider your feelings, my feelings, and our feelings.
I'm only thinking of our feelings when I say these things - but you should be considered most of all! I want you - not as a girlfriend, for girlfriends are easily forgotten in time; but as my own - wholly and without reserve, and I want to be yours - in God's name!
But there are so many things to be considered when we think of your problems. I feel as though I'd be tying you down if I asked to be mine, but if you feel the same for me as I do for you, my worries are over.
This is a helluva way to propose to a sweet heart - but I don't care - I want you to be mine, tomorrow wouldn't be too soon.
Then there is your family to be considered. They might not agree so heartily as we. They might have other ideas on the matter.
Hell's fine, we'll see each other, and let it go at that. If you want to come down, I'll see to it that you get down and have a place to sleep, eat, and anything else that's available, that your little heart desires.
I was thinking of my next station. You see, I'll be leaving Tuesday, the 28th for Dyersburg, Tenn. or Dellheart, Texas, and I want you to come down, when I get settled and have found out how the land lays.
Tell me what you think of all this. Whatever you decide is alright with me - it will always be alright with me - that is, unless you asked me to shoot myself. I wouldn't do that because then I couldn't see you anymore. That's not good!!
If anything interferes with you coming down, you won't have to explain why or wherefore - no is good enough, and I'll understand. If you do decide to come, I'll be the happiest person alive - and that's all there's to it. Just as simple as all that!
Those dreams were of us - a home, a family, picnics - I wondered what the first one would be - a boy, a girl - or maybe twins. Do twins run in your family?
I always felt that I'd never get married, that I'd be tied down if I did. But I think it's wonderful, especially if I had to be tied down with you the rest of my life. Isn't it fun to be tied? God but you're lovely!!
That song, "You'll never know how much I miss you" hits the spot to the letter. I can't begin to express how much I really love you. I feel sorry for us when we get together; I can feel your back crushing now; incidentally, you almost broke mine that last night, remember?
About my activities here. We fly every other day, ground school the other. We get a 24 hour pass every week - and also any other time we're not scheduled for something.
There is a town about 40 miles from here. I've gone 3 times already, for what I don't know. There's not a damn thing there but women and drinking, and without you, it just ain't any fun. There's a swell officer's club on the base. Spend odd hours there.
So hard to leave - even in writing my heart, my love - all yours for ever,
Jim
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