My darling,
I suppose by this time that you'll be wondering why I haven't written for so long. I just got back from a week in London last mid night and you know how that is, don't you?
I had a wonderful time, sweet, and remember what I said about mixing rest and fun? Well, they don't mix, in other words, I'm all tired out - I doubt I could stand another day of it, believe me! But I'm satisfied that it turned out the way it did.
I saw several plays and musicals. "Lilac Domino" was extremely well produced. Good acting and good music. "Panama Hathe" was painfully humorous, you know the "laugh until one's sides split" variety. I didn't see the screen version, so I can't compare them. "Something for the boys" wasn't too hot. Oh it was good alright, but maybe I was too much impressed by "Strike a New Note" and Sid Fields humorous antics that I had seen a few weeks before.
I've been to one movie in the last month, "A Guy Named Joe," and it was worth it. Spencer Tracy is quite good and same goes for Dunne.
Went out to Chelsea, a part of London that compares with Greenwich Village in N.Y.C. Where all the artists and professional entertainers live. We had a little party and sort of disrupted the making of a movie. I'll tell you how that happened. You see I had known Jack Thomson just about as long as I've been at my present station. He was connected with the picture "Largely for Today" and has been at our base quite a long time.
Anyhow, the party was at Jack's Flat in Chelsea. A few of the cast were there from a picture just starting to be made, "Perfect Strangers." Do you know I was having a hell of a good chat with Robert Donat, Just shooting the old cock and bull stuff, before I realized who he was. Oh, he's a regular guy and it wasn't until the next day when we went out to MGM to see them start the picture, and was then sober, that I realized that one of the boys the "Yanks" go drunk the night before was one of the actors I had admired the most. Incidentally, Donat was not in condition to take that day, hay fever you know, so every thing was postponed for the day.
By the way, Jack, who is assistant something or other, I don't know if he's a director or not, he didn't show up either. What a mess we made of that, but be it as it may, we were treated so damn nice and were made to feel so welcome that I guess we were forgiven after all that. It's surprising to notice what happens when one goes out just to see a friend.
But as nice as it was - I had a good time with a bunch of swell people - a night and a day was about enough of that. You know how it is when you've got seven days to do as you please. There are so many things one wants to do and never does, but has a good time trying - well there were other things to be done and we never did go out again. So much for that.
Terry, I wished so much that you could be with me. So that we could enjoy London, and all it has to offer, together. What I mean, darling, was brought out in something Dick said one day while eating at the Savoy Hotel. He said, "Do you realize, Jim, that we're living, eating, drinking in places famous worldwide. The Strand Palace, the Regent Palace, the Trocadero, and so on (sorry) with French waiters with French menus, (I always have to have them interpreted and it's a nuisance) but wonderful atmosphere and grand music, not saying anything about the food." Oh, Terry, how I wished you were here to share these swell joints. I'd like to visit Germany and France some time, that is, on a pleasure trip after the war. To see how the other half of the world lives. Maybe we will be able to arrange it some time, wouldn't you like that, darling? We can hope, can't we?
I should feel guilty spending all that money, I won't tell you how much, that's a military secret, in other words, I don't know. But when I think of "us," I feel kind of funny, foolish is the word, because it would help a lot later.
It was selfish of me I know, but I did the things I wanted to do when I wanted to do them. It's over now, I was happy, had a good time, what else can I say? except "Things said can never be reclaimed, things done can never be regained." I hope you understand that Terry, don't think too harshly of me, will you?
Now I'm back to work again, not too largely of course, in fact, just a little worried. I'm starting to sweat them out now, Terry, getting near the end you know - nearer the day when I'll be home again, with everyone I love, especially you.
18 is the number now, it keeps getting higher and higher, tougher all the time. I guess every one feels the same towards the end of the trail, the last few steps always seem the longest and the hardest. I hope I can keep on "sweating them out" for our sake.
You mentioned a picture "Tender Comrade" that you liked so much. I haven't seen it, but I know the story. My wish is that it never happens to "us." More for your sake, I really mean that, because I'll never have to suffer, you will. I know how I would feel if a similar situation happened to you. I don't want anything to happen to you, it would be the proverbial straw that broke a back. It would be a heart in our case. I don't like it, the potential suffering, I mean. But that's the price people pay when they become attached, ins't it?
If our hopes were shattered, it would prove overwhelming and have a lasting effect. That's what makes it so difficult, so very difficult. You'll see, darling, my sweet Terry, you might not see the same guy you once knew, oh so long ago, after I come back to you. You might not like me because perhaps I've changed, I don't know. I feel the same, but how can I be sure? How can we be sure that the change, if any, isn't sufficiently great enough to alter things. We can't be sure, can we? It's something that has to be determined, it's something that may or may not matter. We'll wait to see what happens, what say?
Going to cut this short, darling, until another day.
I do love you so, darling, so very much. In pencil, I'll say it again. You're all I'll ever want in a life long companion and sweetheart.
Jim
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